1,018.......will never be forgotten.

“God… I have to live here alone all over again…..in the empty quiet house….lonely weekends…..utter strangers I call friends” thought Mohamed Fathy, one of millions of Egyptians working abroad in the neighboring kingdom of Saudi. It was almost 8 P.M February third 2006; he had just dropped his family at the ferry port. They had just finished their mid-year vacation and his three kids had to get back to school.

His was a typical Egyptian family that was forced to live shattered in half, the father working his days and nights thousands of kilometers away from home to help his three children; Mariam 13, Khaled 9 and Yomna 7 and their mother the patient, strong Hanaa who fought her own daily war to raise the kids without her other half Mohamed who was exiled by his will to get food on his kids’ table.

Looking at the backseat Mohamed spotted Mariam’s diary and thought that she will sure be mad when she remembers that she forgot it. “ Mariam is so special” he thought to himself “ not only is she mature and helps her mother in everything….not only is she brilliant and gets good grades at school But she’s a poet! Who would believe the daughter of the most average student would turn out to be a brilliant poet.” Mohamed thought with that enormous sense of pride a parent gets, at the same time he couldn’t help but feel sorry for himself for missing out on his children growing up.

“ This is best for them…..what good am I living with them in Egypt if I can’t pay for a proper education……I never want my kids to go to those nasty public schools….how else could I buy them good clothing? How else can I supply them good food every day? How else (when the day comes) am I going to help them get married? I have to stay here….even if I don’t like it. Even if I hate my job, the weather, the country and the people! To hell with me! Everything I do is for Hanaa and my three kids”. With these thoughts Mohamed dismissed the idea that he is spending all his kid’s life away from them, seeing them only once a year. He didn’t want to acknowledge that his son needed a father figure in his life. He didn’t want to acknowledge that Hanaa needed a man to protect her. He didn’t want to acknowledge that young Yomna couldn’t get why her beloved father is constantly introduced and then removed from her life. And finally he didn’t want to acknowledge that Mariam, his teenage daughter was suffering from a load that was far too heavy for her young years. All Mohamed knew was that he didn’t want his children to suffer the malnutritioned, undereducated, rough and ruthless life he had with his 8 brothers and sisters while growing up.

Mohammed arrived to his empty home with a battle raging in his mind.

“Mama!!! Khaled hit me!!!” shouted Yomna, Hanaa; a mother of three, was quite used to this “I swear to mighty god if you both don’t shut up I will take off my slipper and tear it on your bodies!” although Hanaa never really did go through with the threat, her kids were wise enough to recognize when their mother was at her limits, they preferred not to find out the hard way how the sting of slippers really feels.

For her three kids Hanaa is the good cop, the bad cop, the tutor, the cook, the repairman , the one who drives them to practice, the one who takes care of them when they’re sick……. You could recite her duties forever but to be brief; Hanaa was the mother and the Father for her three children for most of the year. But although she has lived like this for almost 10 years now (since Mohamed got his job in Saudi) she still feels lost as soon as the couple part.

Mariam looked aimlessly at the dark sea outside the window. She loved her father very much and despite her young age she understood the sacrifices that he made for them. But still as every teenage girl she needed that strict figure in her life to guide the way. Hanaa did he best but still she felt short after all a father is a father.

Mariam looked at her girlfriends as their fathers took care of them. “Sara’s dad always drives her everywhere……. Salma’s dad takes them out every Friday……….Nada’s dad always helps her study……I even envy my neighbor Sherine’s father for shouting at her for talking to boys on the phone…. Why should I be the only one left out with no……..”

“WHERE THE HELL IS THE SMOKE COMING FROM!!!!!” A man shouted looking out the window. By these terrifying remarks Mariam’s thoughts we’re shattered.

The 500 hundred seated passengers on the third floor of the mega- ferry Al-Salam 98 started shouting aimlessly at each other, all three levels of the ferry were jam-packed full of hundreds of poor-folk, Egyptians going back to their poor motherland of Egypt.

With a mother’s instinct Hanaa grabbed all three children under her arm anticipating what these speculations are going to end up in.

Men started going outside the window to try to guess where the smoke was coming from. Panic had clearly started to make the crowds uncontrollable by the ferry officials.

It was not until a tall dark-skinned man wearing the Egyptian gilbab shouted “ FIRREEEE……FIIRRREEEEEE…..FIIIIIIIIIRREEEEEE!!!!!!” that all hell broke loose.

People started running around madly with no direction in mind but to get out of here, they didn’t know that escaping from the fire by jumping into the sea will only cause you a slower, harder death by drowning in mid-sea.

Hanaa was left motionless. Yomna and Khaled were now crying and Mariam maintained this strong look as if to show her mother that she can back her up. Hanaa had no idea what to do people were shoveling and pushing mercilessly. An old woman fell right next to her injuring her head. All three kids now stared at her, their mother that always knew what to do, that always fixed everything, that always could make the pain go away. But there she was in the sea of poor people, mindless with panic, each thinking that he could save his-self and his family. None of them knew that the hand of providence had already sealed their fates, and that the angels had come to fetch the lives of those whom god had fated to his side.

Shocked and traumatized, Hanaa tried to think of a way out from the ferry but all exits were crammed with masses of people trying to fight their way up to the deck, smoke now almost filled the floor and breathing became hard, by now all four of them were crying.

Hanaa then thought of the only option available, the only way they could get out without fighting the vicious crowds; she grabbed a broken fire extinguisher that was only set there as a formality and broke the window, looking down she estimated the distance to be 10-20 meters (of course it was much more but then again she was not in her right state of mind). She thought that she would throw one kid at a time and since all of them knew how to swim they would surely be rescued by the soon-to-come rescue crews. It may not sound like a sane idea but desperate times call for desperate measures….and throwing your kids out of a ferry was truly beyond desperate.

“Mama loves you and she wants you to be strong” Hanaa shouted at them through her sobs “ the only way out of here is to jump through the window…..don’t worry I will be right behind you…you all know how to swim…….Yomna baby I will carry you once we’re down there, we will stick together till help comes… I am sure they’re on the way!” Yomna screamed in disbelief as she cried and heard her mother say the idea. Khaled could not comprehend, he was in absolute shock.

People were jumping from windows in numbers now as news came that the deck was now completely on fire and the only way out is to jump. They could all hear the screams of people who jumped and the splashing they made as they landed in the water but then they disappeared soundlessly in the dark water.

Hanaa carried Khaled, he did not resist, after all she was mama, she knew best. She helped him stand on the window rail and then she summoned up all the courage she could and then she pushed her only boy out of the window she hurried to look where he fell but helplessly she couldn’t see the water. Hanaa then with the help of Mariam balanced Yomna on the neighboring window as they were scared she would fall on Khaled. Again she and her daughter summoned up their will and pushed the 7 year old out of the window. Then it was Mariam’s turn but she looked at her mother and told her “you go first mama I will jump after you…..Khaled and Yomna need you” with no time to argue and no mind to think straight Hanaa shouted at her daughter “jump right after me…do you understand…..I will be waiting for you down there holding your brother and sister” Hanaa then stepped on the rail and jumped into the unknown!

Mariam knew what to do and as she tried to get on the window rail a mad old man grabbed her and pulled her off throwing her on the ground and injuring her shoulder. The man then jumped from the fully smoked floor leaving poor Mariam unconscious on the floor.

A few minutes passed and Mariam was able to stand up. All she could think of is that she is lost from her family and her mom will be worried. She summoned up her remaining strength and was able to climb on the window as she looked down she felt scared but she just pushed herself off the window.

She felt like falling endlessly she thought she took hours to reach the cold winter water. She disappeared for a few moments as her body sunk in the water from the impact. Then Mariam emerged from underwater barley able to take in her breath. Looking around at the horrified faces of the old and young people who can’t swim that are reaching out for god knows who to help them. Mariam tried to search for her mother but she was nowhere to be found, the slow movement of the ship and the strong waves have carried her family away and left her all alone.

“Mamaaaaaaaaa…….ya mamaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!” Mariam shouted in the dark for her mom. In the middle of the insane cries of the people young Mariam’s voice was barely audible. “Ya mamaaaaaaaa….mamaaaaa” Mariam then started crying. She had lost hope in everything. She was left there with hundreds of Egyptians in the middle of the dark merciless red sea waiting for rescue ……waiting for help …….waiting for god to send a miracle.

Sadly they waited for naught.

Although he was half asleep, Mohamed Fathy was waiting to hear from his family; Hanaa always called him as soon as they arrived at the port in Egypt.

The phone rang, “aloo” said Mohamed in a sleepy relieved voice.

“Disaster Mohamed ……. it’s a disaster!!!!”

Mohamed jumped off his bed to the voice of his co-worker Gamal.

“What Happened? What happened?!!”

Out of all the disasters Mohamed pictured his self or his family to fall into, out of all the tragic stories he has ever heard or even saw on T.V. drama, out of all the nightmares that anyone could think of, the words Gamal laid on Mohamed were far, far worse.

“The ferry drowned!”

“What” shouted Mohamed “ what are you saying!!!!”

“The ferry ….the one with my kids and your kids…sank in the red sea!”

Indescribable is the word to describe those feelings (I pray to god that no one experiences them), Mohamed was beyond devastated, it was as if lightning had struck his spinal cord disabling him of any type of action or movement, he couldn’t even utter a word, ……..he literally did not know what hit him. After a few minutes of utter disbelief he rushed heavily to the T.V. knocking everything in his way, he struggled to open the T.V., still a part of his mind knew this was not true, this cannot be, this is far too cruel to happen to him.

He opened al Jazeera to find the “breaking news alert: the sinking of the Egyptian ferry al salam 98 that was headed towards safaga port, casualties believed to be over 1000” Mohamed read those lines again and again as he fell into shock. His wife and kids’ faces, voices, smiles, attitudes, history, hopes and dreams….everything was shattering in front of his eyes.

He always read those breaking new alerts but they had never touched him directly, the closest he had ever been to it was when an explosion happened in Cairo or in the great earthquake of 92.

Mohamed started crying hysterically on the floor; everything he lived for was lost, his only hope in life, his only dream, his only solace for working away his life in loneliness had drowned in the red sea.

Other Egyptian friends heard about the tragedy from the news and they reached his house in 20 minutes, they started making calls to the Egyptian embassy and the consulate but no one answered. They then thought they should go to the ferry port where they met the officials and they told him that a very wide scale rescue mission has been launched under the orders of his highness king Abdullah and his Excellency president Hosni Mubarak and they were expecting survivors in the next couple of hours. In the midst of the dark came these words to Mohamed as a life rope thrown to him to save his last hope.

“They’re alive…..inshallah they’re alive, I know Hanaa she’s strong …and…and my kids can swim…..thank god I taught them…they’re coming … I know they’re coming, I can feel it….right Mahmoud? Right Sobhy” Mohamed exclaimed like a mad man.

His friends agreed with him for the sake of support but they shared a look that told that they knew no one would survive the rough cold waters of the red sea in this windy winter night.

The morning light struck with no signs of rescue ship, it was not until 10:13 A.M that the first rescue boat showed up. Families who were now overcrowding the whole area were ordered to remain calm as the names of the survivors were called through a microphone. Every few names a family would shout praises in Allah’s name, cheering the name of a loved one that has been rescued.

76 names were called; none of them were from Mohamed’s loved ones. The officials said there was another ship, 91 names were called….none of his family’s

A fourth rescue ship arrived and a fifth and a sixth and each time the survivors’ number would decrease, so would Mohamed’s hopes. The whole day passed, a total of 10 ships arrived that day all carrying survivors; total of 320 survivors were identified and 68 were still unconscious and unidentified.

Mohammed fought the rational odds set by his mind, he was possessed by a mysterious inner strength that his family will make it, he was certain of it. He didn’t even believe the Egyptian minister of transportation his Excellency Mr. Mohamed Lotfy Mansour who said that the chances of finding survivors now were very slim.

Mohamed just knew that Hanaa will come on the next ship and that he will hug his children and never let them go again. They will live as a family back home in Egypt, under any conditions, he will teach his kids himself if he has to, he won’t eat to feed them, he will do his best to raise them, he will stand by Hanaa and help her in the house, he won’t leave her to face life alone, he will leave the money behind him in Saudi and go back home…… Egypt...……to his family…………..to unite his only family …. The one thing he lived for.

On the seventh day of the disaster, Mohamed was still camping at the port, hoping and praying that his family will come any second. He saw hundreds of families reunited by fate and he prayed for the safety of his family. He also saw several hundreds of families destroyed by grief on their lost beloved. He had been to every hospital, he saw more than 1000 bodies and over 50 unidentified survivors that had been brought back to be identified and his family was nowhere to be found.

Mohamed went to the local morgue to see if he could identify any of the newly arrived bodies. By then this had become a daily routine; seeing dead bodies and hoping that you would not identify them. For Mohamed it seemed like he was delaying the inevitable, despite the impossibility of his family surviving he still clenched to the illusion of hope.

Death had unfortunately spoken its words, and as he walked into the morgue there they were ….….Hanaa……….Khaled……….and Yomna.

His legs were paralyzed and he fell straight on his face while crying. He had his hands around his head and he was screaming ….. He was screaming his family’s names. Then he stood on his knees and started talking to his family. “Hanaaaaaaaa why did you leave me…..Ya Haanaaaaaaaaa why did you leave, come baaaack!!!! Come back to me, I won’t leave your siiiiiide!!!!! Why Hanaaaaaaaa!!!”…….”ahhhhhhhh my son……..Khaled, baba is calling you!!!!!!!! Ya Khaaaaaaled answer your father!!!!” as he looked at his youngest daughter Yomna, Mohamed could no longer bear his agony, he passed out. The morgue was full of keening sounds that slowly rose to a crescendo of anguish and pain, as people screamed their grief and anger, screamed for those they’d lost forever. Mohamed had lost three of his most loved ones.

After 10 days of search and rescue missions Minister Mohamed Lotfy Mansour announced the suspension of the rescue operation and those who were not found were declared dead, it meant Mohamed had lost Mariam; the only dim ray of light that kept him hoping.

His friends wanted to help him accept his family’s fate, they tried to do what they could to help him through his grief but Mohamed was beyond help.

He had lost his reason to live.

After obtaining death certificates for his whole family, Mohammed packed his belongings and was going back to Egypt for the funeral, he had to be present to accept the condolences in person.

While packing he stumbled upon his eldest daughter’s diary, he held it for a long time, his tears streaming on the cheap plastic covering. With trembling fingers, he opened it to read her final thoughts.

She had written a poem:

I am afraid of something unknown…

I feel that soon I will be alone

I wish my father would come back home

I need him around me and not through the phone

Tomorrow I will go back to Egypt my home

And my family will be cleaved, each half on its own

I am afraid of something unknown

BASED ON A TRUE STORY

Written by: Aly Khaled

Editors: Islam Adel and Ahmed Osama

timeline editor : Haj ahmed abo bakr (may god give him health and a lengthy life)